google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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