If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
