You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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