the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
