So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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