party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
