Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
