butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
