So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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