i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
