I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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