we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
