somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
