i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
