I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
