OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
