I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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