Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize