I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
