I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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