I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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