Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
