3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
