and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
