That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
