I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
