nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
