You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
