I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize