i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up under a house in Key West
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