i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Come see our sink grown plant.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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