He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
