so explain again why im purple
no
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
