So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
