so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
