I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
