i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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