He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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