Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
