i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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