I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize