FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
