I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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