new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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