We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
