i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
