Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just pynch a tree in the face
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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