Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
