someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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