I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
