My Higher Power is John Stamos
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
