I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
