Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
