Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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