Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why do cheetos always look like penises
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
