Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just high enough for therapy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
