pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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