wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
