I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
