i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize