i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
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