Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize