big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
