ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You are a genius and a whore.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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