Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
