Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Drunk is not a location!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
