Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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