She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You were trust falling into bushes
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
